Improvised piano – turning everyday sadness & uncertainty into the magic of compassion & wonder

When I make up this kind of romantic music on the spot, I’m using the language of music to explore, evoke or enter a transformed state, an altered state of consciousness, if you like. Sharing it is more of a conversational thing than a performance – as I often say, I feel more like a stand up musician. I use whatever feelings happen to be present as a starting point, however mundane or everyday they might be – today, I was feeling a little sad and uncertain about the world (well, who doesn’t?) – and from this starting point, the music seems to go deeper into the feelings, deeper into the shadows, to generate a kind of alchemy, where those feelings become beautiful. They may not be happy, certain feelings, but they are feelings of great compassion and love, acceptance and wonder.

A short direct comparison between Pianoteq v8 and v9

In this short video, I put the NY Steinway D Classical presets in Pianoteq 8 and 9 side by side to see what the differences are! I did this because it was requested and it does make some sense. The differences are not easily measured and are quite subjective…

I love Pianoteq v9 – gorgeous new “sombre” presets, enhanced voicing & mic setup

In this video I explain briefly why I’m such a Pianoteq fan and how much I love the latest version – v9. Using new enhancements for hammer voicing and mic setup, it’s more intuitive than ever to make subtle, real-world tweaks to the instrument sound; whilst the new sombre presets are an exciting addition, as they sound so incredibly beautiful.

Getting to the root expressive inhibition to become fluent

In this video, I explain why fluency can be so elusive, even for students who grasp the model and practise focusing on it. Music expresses inner feelings and we often believe that the permission to express them is denied. We can feel embarrassed, silly, or we might just perform over them inauthentically. To become fluent in any language requires that we express ourselves unselfconsciously. Music is no exception.

A musical trip into the magical darkness

In these videos I explore the inner realms of consciousness that music has the power to uncover. As a fluent musician, I use the language of rhythm and tonality to explore and express inner consciousness spontaneously, and this can open up a portal into a magical realm, taking me out of the mundane, daily grind. In this piece, the realm I go to is a dark one, yet beautiful and compelling too. I hope you like visiting it with me…

The Primary Blockage to Flow

Flow is not a conditional state based on an outward result but rather a deep, powerful, inward feeling that exists naturally at all times. We just need to access it directly. Accessing this inner feeling in all that we do is the goal or path of life.

The ego shoots for a different goal – not an inner one but an outer one. It seeks measurable, predictable, repeatable material results (control), which is a persistent distraction from our true goal of feeling flow on the inside. The error that good results create good feelings keeps us focused on those results – the wrong goal. In reality, the inner feeling of flow can include things that the ego thinks are insufferable; but love and kindness are feelings that depend on loss and sadness, even pain. Compassion, the heart’s primary feeling, needs us to acknowledge the shadow of vulnerability. So, we just need to feel whatever is truly there inside, and perhaps even better, express that feeling naturally.

With practice, we can access the inward, flowing, natural feeling just by stopping and tuning in (meditation), and also through many outward pursuits. Music is especially powerful for accessing and expressing inner feelings. However, practising anything can trigger the ego: our goal becomes doing it well to achieve good or perfect material outcomes. We’ve missed our true goal of inner flow and are left in an emotional state of fear and hunger, feeling insecure, pressurised, inadequate, and demoralised. The comfort, satisfaction and approval that achieving good results promises are never felt very deeply inside, and the hit of these very superficial emotions is very short-lived and addictive.

So we must LET GO of our ego gremlins’ goal of achieving good material results. Letting go also encourages us to feel DEFIANCE, which is a really great feeling – an emotion that transcends fear, shame and anger. Of course, when we feel good inside, favourable material outcomes appear as natural by-products, but don’t let them seduce you into making those results your goal. Defy those gremlins!

Darkest Green – Emerging from the Shadow

Darkest Green is an original piano composition from my project Butterflies, which has nothing to do with their aesthetics but rather their symbolism – exploring themes of transformation, emergence, inner metamorphosis.

This piece explores the hidden beauty of change, and the fragile power of transcendence, as it moves through shadows and feelings of uncertainty, with fluttering textures and expansive sweeps that reflect the tension between darkness and the fertile possibility of becoming.

Thank you for listening — I hope this piece says something that is relevant to you.